The bet
by Swallowed-By-Pain
Summary: Sasuke bets Naruto he won't sleep with Sakura, the prize? He get's to go on a date with Sasuke if he does it. Sakura bashing, octopusses, rank pizza, PURE CRACK. Crack fic.


MAJOR Sakura bashing. I hate her.

"I bet you won't sleep with Sakura." Sasuke challenged his best friend.

"Oh yeah? You're on! What happens if I do?" Naruto said exitedly.

"I'll go on a date with you. If you lose and chicken out i'll slap you in the face for being a pussy, then you'll give me $50." Sasuke smirked.

"Fine then, you're on."

Naruto and Sakura walked into the hotel room and closed the door with a soft click. He had to do this no matter how nasty he thought Sakura was, he wanted a date with Sasuke. Sakura was looking around the room like she had lost something.

Her eyes were bugging out and she was sticking her neck out in a more-than-creepy way... He took in a deep breath and let it out, time to roll.

"Uhm, excuse me but..." She started, turning to look at Naruto with her Sasuke stalking eyes.

"Yes?" He spoke slowly and loud, everyone knew she had a bit of a mental problem so of course she wouldn't understand if he spoke like he normaly did, the deaf bitch.

"Where is you're sex swing?" She waved her hands, he noticed the thick acrylic nails, gross.

"My what?" He yelled looking at her like she had lost her mind.

"You're sex swing!" She yelled back at him. "My mom takes one everywhere we go, because you know, I'm a whore and never stop having sex! Plus if I see Sasuke I can make him get in it!" She nodded like a moron.

"I'm not a skank, so I don't have one. There is a bed." Naruto pointed to the bed in the corner of the room.  
"Bed? Well I guess that will work..." She looked unsure, she had only seen a bed a few times in her hatched-from-an-egg life, they scared her!

"So... Go on. Get on the bed you skank!" Naruto pointed to the bed before realizing; "Wait!" He screamed.

"What?" She batted her eyelashes, which had clumps of mascara in the nasty, unclean, funky, looking things and stared with her ugly green eyes filled with whore.

"Let me put some plastic on it, I don't want you getting your desieses on it." He said loudly as he walked to the closet and pulled out a role of plastic he had brought before bringing her here. "Crabs are for the ocean you know."

"I don't have crabs!" She screamed with a gasp, offended. "I have octopusses!" She ungracefully shoved her hand down her pants and began digging around. Her eyes squinted as her tongue poked out of the side of her mouth, not a minute later she snatched her hand out of her granny panties to reveal a discolored octopuss in the palm of her hand. "See! You want to touch it? This one is called slime, because he always gets slimed on since I don't take a shower like... Ever." She smiled not so brightly, revealing her yellow, crucked teeth.

Naruto shook his head and tried not to throw up as he finished tucking the plastic under the mattress and over it. "Just shut up and get your stank ass over here so we can get this over with... Whore." He added.

"Wait!" I want to tease you a bit!" She shoved the octopuss back into her ketchup stained jeans and began to sway to nothing.

Sakura ran her man hands down her pudgy sides and took the him of her shirt among her fingers, pulling it up over her head and throwing it on the floor.

Naruto's eyes grew wide, he tried not to laugh at the hideouse body he say. That fat, ugly, whore, looked horrible! She had more hair on her chest and stomach than a fucking yeddie!

She tore the remainder of her clothes off and stood there with a yellow smile placed firmly on her lips.

"Seriously? How the hell could you so willingly get naked in front of any guy? You look horrible! You're a eyesore!" He bellowed, pretty sure that Sasuke, who was down the hall making sure he went through with this along with Kiba and shikamaru, heard him.

Oh god, the boobs! They hung lower than a fucking drop cord! He let his eyes travel down to her crotch and nearly threw up. Hair. Hair. Hair. She looked like she hadn't shaved, ever. The hair was spread so far that he couldn't see her lower stomach or thighs. It was disgusting! How did she manage to get all of... That! Into her pants?

Was that a... Dick?

"Dude! You just whipped out a dick bigger than mine!" Naruto screamed with wide eyes.

"So bend over, come on. I want to fuck you!" She moaned.

"What, what, in the butt? What, what, in the butt? You wanna do it in my butt? In my butt? In my butt, butt? What, what, in my butt?" He sang wide eyes, no way in hell was that happening!

"Oh god... Don't come any closer." He gagged and looked at her in disgust. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What..."

"God just... Just get on the fucking bed and don't burn a hole in it with you're looks!"

She climbed on the bed and instantly spread her legs. Naruto was almost knocked over off the bed when he got a whiff. It smelled like rotten fish! "Holy fuck! Close them, close them!" He hurried off the bed and grabbed a closepen and clamped it over his nose. There. He couldn't smell a thing now.

The blonde re-positioned himself on the bed but this time further away. He looked and was mortified. There was more than a dozen of those octopusses nestled in the pubic hairs, sticking out and moving in all directions and was that...

"Is that pizza?" He screamed.

"Oh! That's where my last slice went!" She felt around for a moment before pulling the pizza with anchovies to her face with a triumph smile. "Only a few hairs, some octopuss, and some of the damn slime stuff!" She shrugged and took a latge bite from the tainted pizza.

That was it. Naruto leaned over the edge of the bead and heaved up everything within him. Everything. How the fuck could he do this? He shook his head, he couldn't.

He quickly stood from the bed and walked to the door. "Stay just like that. Don't fucking move." He slammed the door and stalked down the halway to find Sasuke's room.

He banged his fist on the door and screamed, "Open the mother fucking door!" He kicked it. "Open it! Open the fucking door!"

A very panicked Sasuke snatched the door open, Kiba and Shikamaru close behind. "What? What the fuck is wrong?"

Naruto looked close to tears, he was so fucking pissed, "Come here." He grabbed a handfull of raven hair and snatched Sasuke out of the room.

Sasuke hissed in pain as he was drug down the hallway by his hair, followed by Kiba and Shikamaru.

"What the fuck Naruto!" He screamed.

"Shut up! Shut up and look!" He kicked his own room door open to display what he had been put through.

They all stood there quietly. Sakura was on the bed eating some nast looking pizza in her naked not-so-glory. Their eyes were wide and their mouthes dropped open.

"That fucking pizza came from her rank pussy!" Naruto screamed.

The sound of throwing up echoed through the hallway, what the hell!

"Oh yay! Are we having an orgy?" She screamed, exited.

They threw up once again before running away, far, far away.

The end.


End file.
